I want you to pick one person to start with. Someone who was really meaningful in your life. Pick someone you have been with from the beginning, someone you had hopes and expectations for. They have to be someone who all these years became who they are today by the choices they made and the decisions they made. This included the things they resisted, the things they complained about, the things they loved and the things they embraced. Look at all the ideas you had about how they could be. Maybe you had inklings of how they could shine pretty brightly at times and you wanted them to be that way all the time. Or it might have happened that they could love sometimes and you wanted them to love consistently and always. See yourself in your present condition and look back at all the choices you made; all the tension that you threw into your body, all the fears that locked you down, all the opinions that distorted your vision, all the fierce ways you needed to be important. I want you to ask God for forgiveness for the choices you made. And if you don’t know what you chose, ask God to show you. What you chose versus what you could have chosen.
Back to that someone you picked. I want you to see how you had improvements in mind for them that would help you and that formed a whole bed of expectations. This person was mostly discouraging, but occasionally hopeful. And I want you to look at them and see that they had months and months of possibility to rise into a particular expression and months and months they changed that desire into “it;s to hard; it’s too much; I can’t keep it up, I just don’t want to do that.” “ I want to settle into something that doesn’t rock my world or stretch me too much. I don’t want to fall too far but I don’t want to rise too high.” That’s what they said over and over in their life. And each of those moments was their choice and they wanted it that way and they did not want the other way. They wanted it just the way they did it.
They weren’t pressured like you pressure them into being better. They weren’t pressuring themselves to be better. They were settling into something comfortable to do; something that worked for them in their limited view. And they wanted it that way.
I want you to see how expecting them to be more puts a pressure on them and a demand, and its angry and hurt and sad for them. They don’t need that because they already have the pressure of their own soul which they’re shutting down a little bit each day. They don’t need your expectations and pressure. And they clearly don’t want to. You have to accept that and relax off pressuring them. You can be mad that you don’t get what you want or they don’t get to make you look better, feel better, but you need to forgive them for the choices they made and the way they wanted to be. They expressed much less than their soul wanted them to express. Their ego didn’t want that. Their own hurt feelings from the past prevented them from expanding. And you have to forgive them for that decision because it meant you weren’t going to get what you need and you would have to look somewhere else.
Can you release them now? Can you stop holding them to your account, your assessment, your desire? Can you cut them loose into their own stream of life or their own karmic river? Can you forgive them for being satisfied with what they were satisfied with?
Now you don’t need anything from them – cut them loose. Bless them into life, into God and let them go.
Can you now become the things you expected from somebody else? Can you become that? God forgive me for not forgiving other people and hardening my heart to them. Help me to forgive them now. Forgive me for all the years I avoided responsibility and growth and for being mad instead of changing.
(I Forgive You)